Rings

Did you know that therapists struggle with their teens too? I didn't! I thought being a therapist would make me an amazing parent! What it's actually done is just given me a strong awareness of all the mistakes I make! Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done. Here is one of my latest insights on parenting...maybe it will help you reframe the circles in your life!

As I continue to struggle with my teenager I find myself lost in circles... I am talking in circles, negotiating in circles, emoting in circles, demanding in circles...living in a circle of repeated patterns, repeated stories, repeated struggles, repeated arguments. Around and around I go. The circle has become so predictable that I can see what will happen next.

But as I reviewed these circles in my mind today, a new image surfaced. The new image was that of rings on a tree. Distinct, natural, circular markings inside the trunk of a tree.

We can learn about a tree by studying these rings. We can come to know the age of the tree, the weather it experienced, any natural disasters it's been through, bugs that have feasted, etc. The tree has a story that is shared through these circular rings. And what I didn't know is that not all trees have rings. Rings are associated with the "growing season". So if you are a tree that lives in a tropical environment, you will not have rings, because your growth is year round and not interrupted by seasons of hardship.

That got me really thinking... what if, in fact, I am not living in circles, but rather I am creating rings that chart our growth. It might seem like I'm stuck in a loop, but what if each circle, each ring, is a new and distinct "growing season"? Wouldn't it be amazing to be able to look back over our life and read our growth through the circles we repeated?

And isn't it a relief to realize that these are not wasted circles. They are all taking us to our tallest, strongest, most beautiful self.

AND THEN!! I walked in to my teens therapist office this afternoon and saw this picture hanging on the wall!!!